You clicked it anyway
Classic retarded dad move
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Dexscreener
Watch chart go down
Buy $RDAD
Lose money faster
Album
Grammy nominated*
CA: 37N8a4...P4pump
NFA. DYOR. We're all retarded here.
Retarded Dads
$RDAD
CA:37N8a4hvL82sJ1i2fCn3i9xwzQr7B9YJuRxYpUP4pump
*yells NGMI at grill smoke at 3am*
yo... you actually made it
This isn't just a meme coin — it's going to be a full retarded movement of dads who ape rugs, sell the bottom, blame the wife for the dip, and still hit buy. Be a part of something horrible! (us retarded dads are waiting for you... probably in divorce court)
* not financial advice, just retarded dad advice *
The Retarded Dads Saga
12 CHAPTERS OF PURE FINANCIAL DESTRUCTION
The Awakening
It's 2:47 AM. Dad wakes up in a cold sweat, phone in hand, watching his portfolio bleed out like a stuck pig. The dog is staring. The wife is snoring. The grill outside beckons. He whispers "NGMI" into the void... and buys more.
click to read more...
The FOMO Brotherhood
In the group chat, 47 dads are all typing "wen moon" simultaneously. Nobody knows what the project does. The whitepaper is three crying Wojaks and a picture of a lawn mower. Everyone apes anyway.
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Grill Smoke NGMI
The burgers are burning. The portfolio is burning. Marriage is burning. Dad stands at the grill, spatula in one hand, phone in the other, screaming NGMI at the smoke while the neighbors call the cops.
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The Bottom Sell
"Honey, I sold at the bottom again." The chart immediately 10x's after dad panic sells. A tradition as old as time. We sell low and we buy high. This is our way.
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Honey, the Dip
"Honey, there's a dip!" Dad yells from the bathroom at 4 AM. Wife thinks he means salsa. He means he just sent the kids' college fund into a coin called $RUGME. The dip keeps dipping.
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Divorce Loading...
The papers are being drafted. The lawyer doesn't understand why "my husband bought a picture of a mustache dad" is grounds for divorce. But it is. It always is. At least he has his bags.
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The Lawn Mower Rug
Dad tried to sell the lawn mower to buy more crypto. The buyer rugged him. Took the lawn mower AND the $50. Now he can't cut grass or afford to lose more money. Peak performance.
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The NGMI Chant
Every morning, dads around the world gather in spirit. They open their portfolios. They see red. They close their eyes. And in perfect unison, whisper: "NGMI." It's a prayer. A mantra. A lifestyle.
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FOMO at ATH
"This time it's different," dad says, aping in at all-time high. It dumps 90% immediately. "I can make it back," he says, taking out a second mortgage. The bank is calling. Again.
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Wife Finds the Chart
She found it. The chart. The red chart. The chart that shows where the 401k went. Dad is in the garage now. Living in the garage. The grill is his only friend. But at least he's still holding.
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The Basement Legends
They say if you go to any suburban basement at 3 AM, you'll find a dad in his underwear, illuminated only by charts, muttering about "the next leg up." They're not wrong. We are everywhere.
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Eternal Retards
And so the legend continues. Father to son. Generation to generation. The sacred knowledge passes down: buy high, sell low, blame the wife, and never, ever, learn from your mistakes. We are Retarded Dads. We are eternal.
click to read more...
THE RETARDED MOVEMENT CONTINUES... WITH YOU
(your wife will understand... eventually... probably not)
TOKENOMICS
Simple, fair, and retarded. Just like dad.
Click the cards to reveal the truth about your financial decisions
Honey-Do List 📋
(AKA the roadmap that wife thinks is chores)
Lawn Mower Breakdown
- ▸Launched while wife thought dad was buying tools
- ▸1B supply minted before beer got warm
- ▸Ownership renounced faster than dad renounced responsibility
Yelling at Clouds
- ▸First 100 holders before dad panic sells his bags
- ▸Raydium graduation or legendary rug lore
- ▸Viral Wojak tweet that makes wife question everything
- ▸Telegram hits 420 retarded members
Honey, Where's the 401k?
- ▸DEX trending for at least 5 retarded minutes
- ▸Meme contest winner gets "Most Retarded Dad" badge
- ▸1,000 holders who haven't sold the bottom yet
- ▸Wife finds the seed phrase (divorce loading...)
Grilling the Portfolio
- ▸10K holders still somehow not divorced
- ▸Random burns because dad needed steak money
- ▸Fake merch: "NGMI Dad" cargo shorts debut
Yelling at the Moon
- ▸1M MC = dad finally "buys new lawnmower" (he won't)
- ▸Kids inherit the bags they never asked for
- ▸Become the cautionary tale told at family reunions
(this honey-do list might change – we're dads, we improvise) 🔧
How to Ape $RDAD
4 easy steps to financial irresponsibility
Create a Wallet
Download Phantom or Solflare. Hide it from your wife. This is your secret garden now.
Get SOL
Buy SOL on any exchange (without telling wife), send it to your wallet. Don't paper hand it.
Find $RDAD
Go to Pump.fun or Raydium. Paste the contract address. Try not to cry at gas fees.
Ape In
Swap your SOL for $RDAD. Congrats, you're now officially a Retarded Dad. Welcome to the family.
The Retarded Dad Guide
to Buying Memecoins (2026 Edition)
DYOR? Nah, DYRD (Do Your Retarded Dad)
The 3:47 AM Wake-Up Call
Wake up at 3:47 a.m. because the baby monitor screams louder than your wife when she finds the wallet seed.
SITUATION: Wake up at 3:47 a.m. because the baby monitor screams louder than your wife when she finds the wallet seed.
ACTION: Immediately check Dexscreener like it owes you money.
Green Candle Syndrome
See green candles. Brain says: "This is the one."
SITUATION: See green candles. Brain says: "This is the one."
ACTION: Heart says: "Honey I just need $50 more SOL for groceries... I mean gains."
The Empty Wallet Discovery
Open Phantom wallet. Realize you have 0.00069 SOL left after last rug.
SITUATION: Open Phantom wallet. Realize you have 0.00069 SOL left after last rug.
ACTION: Sell the kid's Fortnite skins. Wife will understand. (She won't.)
The Forbidden Exchange
Buy SOL on Binance/Coinbase/Kraken/whatever your wife doesn't monitor yet.
SITUATION: Buy SOL on Binance/Coinbase/Kraken/whatever your wife doesn't monitor yet.
ACTION: Transfer to Phantom. Triple-check address. Still send to wrong chain once.
The Sacred Ritual
Go to Pump.fun or Raydium. Paste CA like it's your wife's birthday.
SITUATION: Go to Pump.fun or Raydium. Paste CA like it's your wife's birthday.
ACTION: See "Retarded Dads $RDAD" pumping. Scream "TO THE MOON" at the ceiling. Neighbor calls cops.
APE MODE: ENGAGED
Ape in. Max slippage 69%. Confirm transaction.
SITUATION: Ape in. Max slippage 69%. Confirm transaction.
ACTION: Gas fees eat half your stack. Call it "dad tax".
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Chart goes up 10x. You're a genius. Chart dumps 95%. You're a retard.
SITUATION: Chart goes up 10x. You're a genius. Chart dumps 95%. You're a retard.
ACTION: Blame the devs, the whales, the Illuminati, the grill smoke, your wife's shopping addiction.
The Confrontation
Sell at -87%. Wife walks in: "Honey where's the vacation fund?"
SITUATION: Sell at -87%. Wife walks in: "Honey where's the vacation fund?"
ACTION: "It's... diversified... into lessons."
Finding Your Tribe
Join @retarddads TG. Post: "Just got rugged lol who's next?"
SITUATION: Join @retarddads TG. Post: "Just got rugged lol who's next?"
ACTION: 47 dudes reply "same" with crying Wojak. Feel less alone. Buy more $RDAD on the next dip.
The Eternal Loop
Repeat until divorce papers arrive or you moon.
SITUATION: Repeat until divorce papers arrive or you moon.
ACTION: Either way, you're still a retarded dad. Proud of you, king.
Retarded Dads $RDAD
Because normal dads provide. We provide memes, rugs, and emotional support holding at -99%.
Ape responsibly... or don't. We're retarded either way.
Contract Address:
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RETARDED DADS PHOTO ALBUM
Flip through the legendary moments of financial destruction
*in our hearts
THE RETARDED DADS
OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK
$RDAD
RECORDS
VOL. 1
RETARDED
DADS
FEATURING HITS LIKE:
- 1. "I Bought The Top (Again)"3:42
- 2. "Wife Doesn't Know (Remix)"4:20
- 3. "Diamond Hands, Paper Marriage"2:69
- + 7 more bangers...
"Finally, music as bad as my trades" - Every Retarded Dad
* * * * *
"Made me cry harder than my portfolio"
- Anonymous Dad
* * * * *
"My wife left me but at least I have this album"
- @RuggedAgain
* * * * *
"Better than any investment advice I've ever given"
- Trust Me Bro
JOIN THE MOVEMENT
Connect with fellow dads who have also made questionable financial decisions. Misery loves company, and we have plenty of both.
“I'm not losing money, I'm redistributing wealth”
- Anonymous Retarded Dad
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